Chloe Hansel on Injury & Identity – Cal Cross Country/Track

2020 / 03 / 21

Chloe’s letter to the screws in her hip

Dear my screws,
Happy 2 year anniversary!! What an accomplishment. How you guys holding up? Hopefully good. Me? It’s been a trip.
The scar just never healed properly, so I have an ever-present reminder you guys are there. But that’s okay, it reminds me how strong I can be. Whenever I’m upset about the way my NCAA running career went, mostly when I think back to high school and what I saw as a “logical” progression of goals and the All-American hopes I had for myself, I have to step back and remind myself not to live in some parallel universe full of “what-ifs” and “but’s.” You force me into a constant fight to live in the present, reminding myself of the current me. You guys are a reminder to accept my own limitations while still being confident in my abilities. You’re that friendly nudge to enjoy every run, cause who knows if that *sigh* 300th tunnel loop run is the last (cause it was).
I think about you guys at least once a day. So ya it would’ve been cool if that scar healed all nice and I could’ve just forgotten all about it. But that’s just not possible right now. So to my three screws, here’s to the two years of accepting my reality and the (hopefully) strong, active lifetime ahead of us.
Keep holding me together please, I really appreciate it.
JK screw you.

Chloe on Identity as a College Athlete

“My sport lends itself easily to comparisons since it’s all time-based, and I think that’s something people underestimate the impacts of… Personally, I feel like I always have something to prove. I had an injury my sophomore year spring that limits the number of days a week I can run so I never feel like I’m fully capable and as a runner that’s a weird thing to accept. I wish people knew college athletics doesn’t end when we leave practice, but consumes our thoughts, emotions, influences our motivation for school, and causes real and challenging mental illnesses or struggles that are often just not talked about or paid attention to as much as our physical bodies.”

About the Photographer

Erin Haar is a junior at the University of California, Berkeley pursuing a degree in American Studies with a minor in Journalism. Her creativity extends to many aspects of the media landscape, especially in her current roles as a Video Intern for Cal Athletics and a writer for the Daily Californian. Erin hopes to use her artistic abilities to empower college athletes by giving them the platform to share their experiences through visual storytelling. She wishes to give those in the athletic community the access to break down stereotypes and establish new perceptions in creative ways.

Learn more about D1on1 here

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